"I dun wanna call myself adek anymore, i want an adek, pleaseeee.."

kalau ayat di atas keluar dari mulut budak berumur 2 tahun mesti korang rasa alolololo cute nyer~~ tapi kalau keluar dari mulut orang berumur 21 tahun mesti korang rasa euwww menyampah. hahahah. owh btw, Assalamualaikum my sweet readers. hehe. lame dah tak update blog. im having a short break tapi life sebelum itu adalah sangat busy. i told you before kan. but know what, ive learnt a lot of things this few days.

  Starting last thursday, when i was performing my isyak prayer, my back pain struck me again. the pain was terrible, i tell you dat. rasa macam kena hempap dengan batu tau. macam korang letak semua beban atas tulang belakang sampai tulang tu rasa baik patah dari sakit. oh no. astaggfirullah. i was so sad dat time. imagine, from a very active young girl, i cant do a lot of things now just because im suffering with back pain which i dont know what it really is. ive check with doctors twice. n both of them said everything was fine. i dont know. i dont understand. but i was so sad until i get mad. untill this one fine day, a friend of mine post about this _____ husband. (read his story n put a suitable word bcoz at this moment i cant think of one..).

  his name is Abil, married to a woman named fauziah. currently, his wife is suffering with permanent brain damage (according to the doctor) n only ALLAH can heal her. due to his wife condition, dia tekad nak berhenti kerja sebab nak jaga wife dia. so from a handsome guy with stable job n position, dia sekarang hidup hanya dengan duit simpanan n duit dari JKM to support all his n his wife expenses. n obviously, banyak duit dihabiskan untuk menanggung perbelanjaan perubatan isterinya. u better read his blog, WARKAH BUAT ISTERI; memory n suamimu dear. one simple blog that made me drown with tears. he made this blog sebab dia berharap yang isterinya nanti akan pulih n sihat macam biasa. and if masa tu dia takde, he hopes his wife akan baca all the posts n remember him n feel how pure his love is. :') siapa tak nak husband macam tu kan?

  well, ive read all his posts n i was so touched when he wrote that he will do the best he can for his wife sebab wife dia dah hilang banyak nikmat dunia. for a moment, i was paused. baru aku sedar, despite the backpain yang aku rasa, aku still ade banyak lagi. i can think, i can eat by myself, i can express myself, i can walk, i can feel the air, i can shower, i have my parents beside me, i have my lover, i can drive, i can study, i can dream big, i can work my butt off for to reach my dream............. and why must i choose to regret over one small thing. instead i should try my best to find the cure. n to believe in Allah more.

  and then, these past few days, i keep nagging to my mum about having another family member. you know, in my family im the youngest, balek dari kuliah tengok ibuayah buat hal masing2. n dont have anyone to play with. tak tau nak menyakat sapa. lagi2 bila cuti sekolah macam ni. ade laa rasa nak bawak adek2 pgi PUSAT SAINS NEGARA sebab nak tengok dinasours tak pon pgi PETROSAINS ke. tak pon bawak diorang pgi tengok 6D theater ke. to see kids being excited over new things brings satisfaction to me. i remember when umairah said "best laa rumah ni, nak ajak ayah datang sini lagii la.." or when she simply said "WOOOWW!!" sebab nampak baju princess dalam cerita Enchanted. i love moments like that. sebab tu aku nak adek. hahaha. well, i got different answers from my mum like "im too old to handle baby's cry.." or "get married n have your own.." or "get married. i also want a grandchild.."

  despite all that. despite the fact that its impossible to have my own adek, i have this cute baby

  tadaaa~~ this is amar widad. a friend of mine punya youngest cousin. so sekarang aku memang ade hobby baru. pergi bermain dengan amar widad sampai dia penat. hehehe.

  owh well, last thing i wanna share with you. aku rasa macam tak sedap badan this morning. rasa macam nak demam. tapi sebab aku rasa aku kuat, so aku tetap bertahan. sampailah lunch time tadi. rasa macam dah tak larat sangat. then i posted a tweet saying ill take a break sebab masa tu aku memang nak balek rumah je. nak on aircond, makan ubat n sleep well. but then, betul2 lepas abes lunch (had my lunch outside..) tbe2 dengar azan. and my friend asked me "nak solat dekat masjid?" i told him i dont want to. i told him i really want to go home right now. i told him if he wants to pray at the masjid, then ill go home alone. but he refused. n said "its ok..". but i dont know why, my heart cant simply let it be like that. so i asked him "u nak solat dekat masjid ke?" he smiled n said "awak tau kan, kalau kita dengar azan, tapi kta tak pergi masjid, solat kte tak sah. i terfikir pasal tu je.. tapi awak demam, kalau awak nak drive sorang2 balik rumah, i risau jugak..".

  his words took me a moments to think. i mean, im not that kind of person that when you say 'lets do it for Allah', i will automatically turn on the switch to drive myself n do everything. i still need time to think about it. yes, im not the good example, but believe me, i really one to be sme kind like that. ill work for it. insyallah n please pray that ill be a better muslim day by day. i replied to him "im so sorry, but i really want to go home.." he said "its ok.." the car was quiet for a while. tapi bila dia masuk dalam kawasan masjid i suddenly told him "kita solat sinilah.." simply like that. i dont know what had happened. but i was scared. what if, on the way back home, Allah wants me? what if, on the way back home, something happen and i cant perform my solat? What if, when i arrive at home n suddenly feel so tired untill i forget about my solat?

  so alhamdulillah. semoga solat saya diterima.

  maybe you think the conversation i had with my friend is nothing. but believe me, i learnt a lot. in being a muslim, all you need is the want to be one. the want to be a muslim. the want to be a good muslim. and dont simply say it, instead work for it. ALLAH gave us many precious things. ALLAH gave us brains to think, so use it for the sake of ALLAH. and use it for your own good. Kita semua belajar yang kita akan dibangunkan selepas kiamat, di situ ada satu lagi kehidupan yang baik buruknya ditentukan dengan cara kita menghabiskan hidup di dunia. Jadi berbuat baik didunia akan menjadikan kehidupan kita di alam barzakh lebih baik. isnt it best for us? if loving ALLAH here means ALLAH will love us better in akhirat, isnt it what we always want? isnt it what we always pray for? well, you think about it. As for me, i feel embarrass with myself. How many times ive turned my back to ALLAH? how many time ive been arrogant in this world? but again and again ALLAH will always come to me n ask me to love HIM. again and again ALLAH provides me the best HE can.

  i dont have any fancy things to share with you. no any glamorous life to be proud off either. but i feel so thankful because my life is filled with many beautiful and magical moments. and for that, i thank ALLAH. to anyone that read this entry, i hope you gain something. may ALLAH be with us.

  thill then. Assalamualaikum.

  p/s: people asked "who is your fren?" i answered "the one i pray that one day he will proudly n happily lives this life with me, and holds my hands and leads my way to jannah." amin~~

sebab aku perempuan...

hye darls. seems i cant wait. hehe. well korang tau pasal the new show dekat oasis? liga ilmu? briefly, this show macam debat between ustazah pilihan vs imam muda. few week agao aku ade baca fynn jamal's post pasal liga ilmu ni. tym tu aku ignore je laa sebab tak pernah tengok pon. tapi tadi, after one commercial break aku macam rasa nak p balun ustazah dengan imam tu cakap leklok sikit. satu benda pon tak mantap. huhuhu sedih. btw, this post bukan nak condemn diorang ke apa. aku juz nak write something (as i promised in my previous post) yang related dengan tajuk debat tadi

KEBEBASAN; Kenapa kekangan kepada wanita?

dulu masa dekat tanah arab kecoh2 pasal perempuan insist nak hak yang sama rata macam lelaki, aku sikit rasa sedih. why cant they see the way i see. aku rasa peraturan kt tanah arab tu (walaupun ade sesetengah nya yang agak over) tapi still bagi banyak keistimewaan kepada wanita. first, wanita tak boleh berkerja. kalu kita tengok betul2 pon, memang tugas mencari rezeki tu tanggungjawab suami dan ayah. bukan ibu atau isteri. so perempuan memang sepatutnya dilayan seperti permaisuri. kan seronok. nak duit mintak je. nak pergi mana2 ade orang hantar. nak jalan ade orang teman. memang laa kurang freedom sikit. tapi maruah tu insyallah terpelihara.

haha. kadang2 aku rasa nak gelak bila bercakap soal freedom. dalam liga ilmu tadi pon, ape laa freedom ke human right yang kita sibuk2 perjuangkan. perempuan sekarang nak sangat freedom. nak sangat dipandang sama rata macam lelaki. tak nak dipandang lemah. ah. buang laa semua. tu poyo je. monolog diri sendiri yang nakkan perhatian. setan. bila disuruh pakai tudung, ramai nak bangkang. konon perjuangkan freedom nak free hair macam lelaki. yang engkau taknak appreciate freedom kau bole pakai tudung tanpa orang pandang pelik kenapa? tiap2 hari kau bole tukar tudung. nak kaler ape. merah, biru, pink, oren, semua kau bole pakai. nak yang corak polka dot, animal printed tak pon bunga2, semua kau bole ade. kenapa kau tak nak perjuangkan freedom yang itu. hak engkau untuk ade lebih dari satu tudung. hak engkau untuk tukar tudung tiap2 hari. kenapa kau mesti highlight nak free hair jugak? nak berjalan dengan rambut engkau yang telanjang. yang 2 3 bulan sekali baru tukar fesyen. kan kalau pakai tudung hari2 kau bole tukar fashion. hari ni macam hana tajima. esok macam yuna. lusa nak pakai tudung fareeda. tulat kau pakai tudung labuh macam ALLAH suruh. itukan freedom jugak. freedom yang entah kenapa ramai perempuan suka tolak ke tepi.

another thing is bila cakap pasal poligami. aku, walaupun masih sedaya upaya membina keyakinan yang poligami tu adalah perkara yang baik (perempuan mana yang tak takut dimadu kan?) masih rasa terlalu lemah untuk mempertikaikan hukum Allah. to me, daripada kita sibuk2 menolak kebebasan lelaki untuk kahwin lebih dari satu, kan bagus kalau kita bole berfikir apa kebebasan yang perempuan ada untuk menghadapai situasi macam ni. and obviously, perempuan tak bole kahwin lagi kalau nak balas dendam. so tak payah laa sibuk carik boyfriend laen masa husband sibuk nak kahwin baru. kang lagi teruk gaduh. LOL. tapi pada aku (correct me if im wrong) seorang isteri tetap ade kebebasan untuk slow talk dengan suami. berbincang mana yang kurang and how to improve the marriage and how to settle the problems. perempuan ade hak untuk minta nafkah yang cukup daripada suami sebelum membenarkan suami kahwin lagi. dan perempuan ada hak untuk menghalang niat suami kalau dia mampu membuktikan suami dia tidak mampu menjadi suami yang baik bila berkahwin lagi. itu kebebasan yang perlu kita sedarkan. bukan bila dapat tau suami nak tambah satu terus meraung macam itulah akhir dunia. Allah kan ada. have faith in Allah. and always remember. perempuan ade hak untuk minta fasakh tapi kena ingat jugak
Baginda Nabi s.a.w pernah bersabda : “ Mana-mana wanita yang meminta cerai daripada suaminya TANPA ADA SEBARANG SEBAB YANG MENDESAK , maka haramlah baginya ( wanita itu ) mencium bau syurga “~ Hadis diriwayatkan oleh Al-Imam Ahmad rh di dalam musnadnya ( 5 / 277 ) , 

perempuan, bila ditanya soal freedom trus mahukan kebebasan yang paling maximum. upload gambar dekat facebook tu freedom. lepas tu orang like menggunung. pujian melambung. tu yang perempuan suka. yang bila dipuji "u dengan boyfriend you sweet sangat.." dia suka. kalau boleh aku pon nak buat semua tu. aku pon nak dapat comment2 sweet macam tu. tapi aku selalu tanya diri sendiri. UNTUK SIAPA AKU HIDUP? kalau jawapannya Allah maka tunggulah sampai saat aku sampai ke syurga. nanti aku upload beribu gambar sampai juling mata orang tengok. haha. tapi pokok nya aku kena tunggu. sebab Allah suruh. sebab aku percaya pada Allah.

*************************************

conclusion nye, tak kisah apa aku buat
- aku ade freedom untuk simpan kecantikan aku untuk suami.
- aku ade freedom nak elakkan diri dari fitnah.
- aku ade freedom untuk jaga maruah ibuayah.
- aku ade freedom untuk taknak keluar rumah. sebab aku mahal. sebab diluar rumah banyak lelaki2 jahat. sebab diluar rumah mendedahkan aku dengan lebih banyak dosa.

aku ade freedom untuk mengamalkan islam. aku ade freedom untuk ikut aturan Allah. sebab aku perempuan. sebab aku tau Allah sayang hambanya yang perempuan. sebab tu, Allah dedicate surah An-nisa untuk perempuan. hey, lagu cinta mana lagi best dari surah an-nisa tu?

sebab aku perempuan...sebab aku ciptaan Allah paling indah..lalu aku ade freedom untuk menjadi sepertimana DIA mahu aku jadi

it's been said and done

every beautiful thought been already sung

and i guess right now here another one

so your melody will play on and on

with the best of all

LAU KANA BAINANA


Wahai Tuhanku, kami telah lalai lupa,
Namun setiap orang daripada kami tetap tamakkan,
Keampunan-Mu, dan sifat pemurah-Mu dan kebebasan daripada neraka-Mu,
Dan juga kami tamakkan syurga, yang dimasuki bersama-sama penghulu seluruh manusia.

Kami mohon pada-Mu...
Mohon dengan sangat, wahai Tuhanku,
Dari sudut hati kami yang paling dalam...

Kalaulah Kekasih-Mu, masih berada bersama-sama kami,
Akan terlunaslah segala hutang dan semakin hampirlah
dengan haruman Baginda, sebelum hilangnya,
rasa yang meronta-ronta untuk berada hampir dengan Kekasih-Mu.

Berada berhampiran Baginda, jiwa turut menjadi harum
Dan apa jua yang kalian doakan kepada Allah, akan diperkenankan,
Cahaya Nabi Muhammad tidak akan pernah sirna,
Sempatkanlah kami bertemu dengan Baginda,
Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Memperkenankan doa hamba...

Hidayahmu kepada alam merata meluas,
Tanda hampirnya kasih sayang Tuhan pemberi hidayah,
Hadith-hadithmu ibarat sungai mengalir jernih,
Berada di sisimu bagaikan dahan yang tumbuh segar dan basah.

Kutebus diriku dengan dirimu, wahai Kekasihku,
Nabi Muhammad yang mulia, yang asing,
Berada berhampiranmu, jiwa menjadi harum,
Wahai yang diutuskan sebagai tanda kasih sayang Tuhan kepada seluruh alam....

Wahai Kekasihku, wahai Nabi Muhammad
Wahai doktor hatiku, wahai yang dipuji dipuja
Dirimu memiliki kelebihan yang diakui
Oleh Tuhan yang turut berselawat ke atasmu.

Wahai sekalian manusia! Makanlah dari apa yang ada di bumi yang halal lagi baik, dan janganlah kamu ikut jejak langkah Syaitan; kerana sesungguhnya Syaitan itu ialah musuh yang terang nyata bagi kamu.
Surah al-Baqarah: 168

hye darls. how are you? :D aku tgh xde kje when suddenly this topic klua pulak n aku mcm tros ckp "ok, why dont aku share dengan kamu2.." about what? well, aku rasa korang bole teka kan. mesti laa pasal makanan. hehe.

well, tadi tym lepak2 dengan ayah, kitorang bukak laa tv9. ada rancangan EJEN HALAL. so mcm2 laa yg dia tunjukkan. then aku nampak ade worker SUBWAY kena tanggalkan logo halal yang diorang gantung. so aku pon tweet laa



it was not my intention to get people respond sebab selalu tweet aku xde orang heran pon kan. sobsobsob. but i was wrong dis time. subway ade terlalu banyak peminat tegar. *tarik nafas dalam2 n here we go~~~

but first thing first, AKU BUKAN ALIM ULAMA YANG ADE PELAJARAN TINGGI TENGTANG HUKUM2 ISLAM. aku cuma beri pandangan. so kalau ade salah, sila tegurkan. :D

ade orang tye. SUBWAY MEMANG CONFIRM TAK HALAL KE?
honestly, i dont know. sebab selama aku hidup aku cuma tau sikit2 je bahan dia. kalau ambik ayam, ayamlah. kalau ambik tuna, tunalah. kalau ambik daging, daginglah. secara kasar nya, memang semua ni nampak halal. tapi akar umbi nya? AKU TAK TAU SAMA ADA AYAM TU DISEMBELIH CARA ISLAM ATAU TIDAK? kalau2 diorang perap ayam, aku tak tau diorang perap dengan ape. ade wine ke?

yes, aku sebut wine sebab i got a cousin yg quit kerja as chef dekat one restaurant dekat KLCC sebab diorang masak steak pakai wine. and kalau korang selalu tengok TOP CHEF, wine adalah penambah perisa macam ajinomoto or sos maggi kaler itam yg selalu abang2 burget tepi jalan guna. tambah wine dalam makanan adelah perkara normal utk diorang. but NOT US MUSLIMS.

ade orang cakap, takpe makan tuna. tuna ikan. semua ikan kan halal.
hmmmmm. its up to you. tapi macam aku cakap tadi, aku tak tahu details bahan2 yang diorang guna. dari segala macam sos yang kita bole pilih, honestly aku tak tau. kalau ade setitik bahan dari benda2 yang haram (like babi) makanan tu jadi haram. so, bila ade keraguan di situ, makanan tu dah jatuh hukum subhah bagi aku. sesuatu yg meragukan. n aku ingat ade satu dalil ni yg suruh kita menjauhi perkara2 subhah. (but im so sorry, aku tak dapat carik dalil tu..) aku pegang pada benda tu. sebab RASULLAH kan dah pesan, kita ditinggalkan dengan ALQURAN dan HADIS. RASULLAH dah janji kan, kita takkan sesat selama kita berpegang padanya. its as simple as that. easy.

++ aku kan belajar actuarial sc. mse sem 2 diploma adelah belajar pasal takaful sikit2. n aku belajar, ade 3 unsur yang bole menyebabkan sesuatu urusniaga menjadi haram. one of it is GHARAR or UNCERTAINTY. this is what we call apply what we have learn. wink* so same macam dalam hal ni, aku rasa uncertaity terhadap bahan2 yang dia pilih. more poyo is, there is probability diorang guna bahan yang haram. kan?

another thing is, ade yang comment "orang kedai cakap halal.." honestly, i was so upset bila orang bagi excuse yang macam ni. kenapa senang sangat kita tipu diri kita? kenapa dengan mudah nafsu kita menutup peluang akal untuk berfikir? haiih. my buahati selalu pesan, mencari yang halal adalah tanggungjawab diri sendiri. sebab apa yang kita makan akan jadi darah daging kita bukan cuma sampai mati, tapi sampai masa kita kena hisab. jadi sebagai seorang hamba yang tau diri tak sempurna, macam mana kita nak merayu masuk syurga kalau kita berdepan dengan SANG PENCIPTA dengan tubuh kotor kita?

dalam kes "orang kedai cakap halal.." ni aku rasa kamu2 pon boleh fikir. orang kedai tu orang yang kerja kat situ. yang dia kata halal tu sumber rezeki dia hari2. mahu tak mahu dia kena tipu. takkanlah bukak kedai dekat shah alam yang majoritinya penduduk melayu (islam) lepas tu bila muslim customer nak beli dia cakap "maaf kak, makanan kami tak ade sijil halal. jadi setakat ni kami cuma jual pada customer yang non-muslim sahaja.." kau gila? mana untung beb.

well, aku rasa cukup laa sampai sini. ambil masa kamu untuk fikir-fikirkan. till then.

p/s: sebelem RASULLAH pergi, jibril sempat berbisik "ya RASUL ALLAH, jangan takut. umatmu dulu yang akan masuk syurga sebelum umat nabi2 sebelummu.."

sekian. salam. :D

ALLAH told us, he will not change our fate until we do so.

I think I should voice out.

I'm really tired of seeing people say, "I will leave it all to god" when they cant do anything about something(not talking about sicknesses like cancer. talking about STUDIES, EVERY DAY activities).

Okay, I'm a muslim and proud of it. We all look up to our gods but "leave it all to god" is like telling people you're too damned lazy to do shit. example; "i've got papers tml and i havent studied. I'll leave it all to god to help me get a distinction". Like. wtf dude. seriously? Thats not practical. Sometimes I look up to free thinkers more than I do to those holding on to a religion. They dont say "let god settle my life". they say "fate is in my hands. I'll work my ass off for success" and ALL of you should learn to practise this. Of course, keep praying to god to ask for the best. Not ask for EVERYTHING.

I remember seeing this somewhere but I suppose nobody has heard of it huh?
99% hardwork, 1% god. It came from a religion which i shall not mention. seems more like 100% god to some of you. god doesnt do your homework for you. god doesnt drive your car to work for you. god doesnt make your breakfast for you. God protects and guides you and rewards those who are hardworking and pious. think about it

Okay if you wanna flame me for this, go ahead. I never said anything bad.

-copied from Faisal's FB status

Katakanlah: "Segala puji bagi Allah", tetapi kebanyakan mereka tidak memahami(nya) (29:63)

-ayatquran

hye darls. aku baru je bukak fb n tbe2 nampak dis pic;



as usual, my eyes were the first judges. so the design obviously tak chantek. n aku buat keputusan tak nak share. but wait! "IF YOU LOVE SHAITAN YOU'LL IGNORE THIS.." what? by not sharing doesn't mean i love shaitan. who loves shaitan? only shaitan loves shaitan. orang kafir pon benci shaitan. or devil or jz replace the word shaitan with any other name. and dont judge peopple by jz one action. dont force people to share your not so interesting design by putting such lines. but well, "THE CHOICE IS YOURS.."

menjadi seorang pencinta ALLAH bukan semudah bercinta dengan manusia. bukan dengan singgah kedai, beli bunga ros or dedicate one sweet poem. bukan jugak dengan buat slide yang menyatakan kau cinta ALLAH dengan gambar2 romantic bagai. bukan dengan pergi tv3 n beli slot iklan sebab kau nak declare betapa dalamnya cinta kau. BUKAN! ya, BUKAN!

n cinta ALLAH bukan dengan click butang like atau share dekat facebook. bukan dengan retweet ape2 dekat twitter. BUKAN.

cinta ALLAH tu dalam. kau kena jadi hamba pada DIA. kau kena ikut semua suruhan DIA n tinggalkan apa2 yang DIA tak suka. in a day, you are required to see HIM 5 times. but remember HIM in every breath. it takes a lot. but not more than what you afford. seriously, you can.

sekejap. aku cuba bayangkan kalau2 aku jatuh cinta dengan orang yang nak aku ikot semua cakap dia. sekejap aku rasa tak mampu. sekejap lagi aku cakap "takpe laa. ill find someone that can suit me.."

tapi cinta ALLAH tak membolehkan manusia buat itu semua. bcoz ALLAH is destiny. yes, we had choice. either yes or not. takde separuh2.

TAKDE SEPARUH-SEPARUH.

till then. salam.

Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) said:

If you never felt pain or experienced problems, how would you know I'm the Healer?;

If you never made a mistake, how would you know I'm the Forgiver?;

If you were never hurt, how would you know I am the Comforter?

If your life was perfect, then why would you need Me?

Jihad is not the holy war, where's that in the worship?! Murdering is not Islam and you are not observant

hey darls. last nyte aina share this song dekat facebook. mula2 i tot lagu about love or separated couples or watsoeva. then bila dengar lagu ni, macam nice laa pulak. and then bila dengar some words yang macam support Islam aku macam terkejut. macam "eyh, btol ke?" then aku pon google laa the lyric.

It's so loud inside my head
with words that I should have said
As I drown in my regrets
I can't take back the words I never said

I really think the war on terror is a bunch of bullshit
Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullets
How much money does it take to really make a full clip
9/11 building seven did they really pull it?

And a bunch of other cover ups
Your child's future was the first to go with budget cuts
If you think that hurts, then wait here comes the uppercut
The school was garbage in the first place that's on the up and up


Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the upper crust
You get it then they move it so you never keepin up enough
If you turn on TV, all you see's a bunch of what the fucks
Dude is dating so and so, blabbering about such and such
And that ain't Jersey Shore, homie that's the news
and these the same people supposedly telling us the truth
Limbaugh was a racist, Glen Beck is a racist, Ghaza strip
was gettin bombed but Obama didn't say shit
That's why I ain't vote for him, next one either
I'm a part of the problem, my problem is I'm peaceful
And I believe in the people! Yeah!

It's so loud inside my head
with words that I should've said
As I drown in my regrets
I can't take back
the words I never said

Now we can say it ain't our fault
If we never heard it
but if we know better, then we probably deserve it
Jihad is not the holy war, where's that in the worship?!
Murdering is not Islam and you are not observant

And you are not a Muslim
Israel don't take my side cuz look how far you've pushed em
Walk with me into the ghetto, this is where all the kush went
Complain about the liquor store, well whatchu drinkin liquor for?
Complain about the gloom but when'd you pick a broom up?
Just listenin to Pac ain't gonna make it stop
A rebel in your thoughts ain't gonna make it whole
If you don't become an actor, you'll never be a factor.
Pills with a million side effects, take em when the pain's felt
Wash em down with Diet soda, killin off your brain cells
Crooked banks around the world will gladly give a loan today
so If you ever miss a payment, they can take your home away.


It's so loud inside my head
with words that I should've said
As I drown in my regrets
I can't take back
the words I never said


I think that all the silence is worse than all violence
Fear is such a weak emotion, that's why I despise it
We're scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth
So scared of what you think of me, I'm scared of even telling you
Sometimes I'm like the only person I feel safe to tell it to
I'm locked inside a cell in me, I know that there's a jail in you
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath inhale a few
My screams is finally gettin free, my thoughts is finally yellin through!

It's so loud inside my head
with words that I should've sad
As I drown in my regrets
I can't take back
the words I never said

this morning. aku bukak fb and one of my darl dekat france post something yang buat aku terdiam kjap. read this:



aku belom ready nak comment. sebab dis matter buat aku fikir banyak benda. like siapa aku? can i called myself a muslim? if yes, apa yang aku mampu buat untuk islam? and cukup tak aku menghargai islam sebagai agama aku?

spend some time darls. cuba renung2kan apa yang kita selalu abaikan. till then. salam. :D